The Secret Google Algorithm: Explained

What many of you may not know is the most important seminars at conventions are held behind closed doors. This years Phoenix Forums were no exception. On Saturday around five in the morning the secret, the Google algorithm was explained to a select small group of webmasters. The notes have been uncovered and are posted here on GFY.

FIGURE A: Represents the highly guarded Google search technology in action.

FIGURE B: Represents my nuts doing the windmill. The workings of FIGURE A are determined by which way my nuts are doing the windmill at the time. Many in the SEO community believe that when my nuts are windmilling to the right; highly optimized search pages tend to get better ranking.

FIGURE C: Represents the SERPs (Search Engine Result Pages) - you will notice in FIGURE B that my nuts are actually windmilling to the right and highly sought after search terms have been pushed to the top.

FIGURE D: Represents Wired Guy, Kush, and the rest of the SEO community speculating on the direction of my nuts doing the windmill and optimizing their pages accordingly.

There you have it - the secret Google algo explained. Who says you can never find the good shit on the boards?

Fresh new notes have been uncovered from Jay's secret notebook revealing the complex inner workings of Google. Here, we have illustrated what a well rounded search engine strategy can do for today's progressive webmaster.

FIGURE A: Represents my nuts.

FIGURE B: Represents Britney Spears.

FIGURE C: Represents me ergonomically placing my balls on Britney's forehead.

Yes, here you can see the proof of huge payoff from a well rounded SE strategy.

A WORD OF WARNING

From time to time the search engines will throw a monkey wrench into their highly guarded algorithms; what was once legitimate optimization techniques will now cause you page to fall into penalty.

That's why it is important that you diversify you streams of income to cope with a dry spell in SE traffic.

Here you see my meal ticket: "The Round Towel" - for those fanatic sun worshipping people that don't want to move their "old rectangular" towel all day long to stay in the best path of the sun as it moves across the sky.

Yes folks, you should never put all your eggs in one basket and search engines are no exception.

Of course, as you can see, I haven't needed the help.

Geek on,