How to completely defrag, optimize performance, and rid your laptop of all viruses, worms, spyware, and malware without any type of RAM upgrade or software in just a few seconds:

Also: Removes annoying monitor glare from your screen too (well, not really).

Quick message to whoever the assholes that wrote Spy Sheriff and NT Authority\System Shutdown shit…there’s a special layer in hell being reserved for you right now. It will be the 27th layer and will be three times as hot as the rest of hell, but with no air.

I will be there to meet you assholes. You’ll notice me because I will be the guy pouring acid into your faces while holding a bag of air and charging you to breathe! Ya’ fucking bastards! Go back to slaying Orcs with your broadsword / working on your resistance to lightening — you fucking geeks!

And stop fucking up our computers…we have porn to publish!

On a side note: Hewitt Packard noticed a slight increase in laptop sales in the Los Angeles area.