Ahh yes, silent girl – probably the biggest romantic mistake of my entire life — one day, I am sitting at my house when this friend of mine calls me. He said he had met these two girls that wanted to meet me because they saw the Springer Show. I went down to the bar where they were at. Both of the chicks were pretty hot. One was talking to me and the really hot one was sitting in the corner quiet and just laughing a little. I think my friend was trying to pick her up — so he gets up from the table, I slide over to her and start spitting game at her.
She says, “I h-h-have
I felt a little weird, but there was no denying this girl was smokin’. We go back to my house, watch some Southpark, do a couple bong hits, and then I drop them back off. Just as she’s leaving “silent girl” grabs me, starts making out with me, gives me a piece of paper with her phone number on it, and shows me a naked picture of her.
A couple days later I call her — let me tell you that was a very odd phone call…seeing as she can’t really talk and all. I say, “What do you want to do?” and she says, “M-m-moovie…” (“movie”) – so, we go see Godzilla, come back to my house, and next thing I know — my nuts wind up ding the windmill! Pretty sweet!
The sad part was the reason she had the speech impediment was she had been in a car wreck, they fucked up when she was in the hospital with the respirators, and it damaged only the part of her brain that dealt with speech. She could write a perfect and very articulate email. Actually, it really sucks for her, but enough of the sentimental shit…you know what that meant for me?
I had a hot as fuck, nymphomaniac girlfriend that couldn’t talk! Whoa, my pimp hand is strong!!
I think she was kind of pissed at me in the end because about a year later, when I was out with the other girl at a concert, she snuck up behind me and ripped on of the earrings out of ear – she stood there holding the bloody ring just looking like she wanted to scream at me…
If she could.
That was silent girl.