I’ll have to admit that I wasn’t that exited to attend this year’s Phoenix Forum. The hype about the show was over the top, there was going to be millions of people there, and I had just returned from some pretty disastrous webmaster outings, but I will have to say…The Phoenix Forum fucking rocked! It was one of the best webmaster shows I’ve ever attended for business, philandering, and fun.

It’s like a week later now…so let me run up some of the highlights:

Wednesday – After less than one day at home — get on a plane to AZ and head to Phoenix. Southwest loses my luggage. I have to pick it up on the next flight. After, I run by the Mission Palms. I meet up with Scotty from Adultplayersclub / Ass Munchers and Alli from Topbucks / Big Butts Galore and head for the strip club. I bring some chick back to my room, give her the Smegma Tsunami, and call it a night.

Thursday – Wake up. Drop the Tsunami again and head down to the party Scotty is throwing at hooters with some of my boys from Wantedlist. I’ve always noticed there has been an excess of hot bitches in Tempe, but I swear – now its getting totally ridiculous. The city of Tempe should give whiplash insurance for neck injuries sustained spinning your head around to see all the hot snizz milling around. I start getting hammered real early in the day, watch some naked dodgeball, and check out this rock party hosted at a bar down the street. I meet this hot girl from Spain (that will be my future ex-wife – lol). Go to my boy Dee’s (Gagonmycock.com)party up in one of the Suites.

Blackout.

Friday – The day starts out much like the last…hooters, dodgeball, a killer party at the library hosted by Paycom and Wegcash (Desparate Latina Sluts). The party is loaded with hot snizz – I am completely wasted out of my head, we wander back to the hotel and go to some suite parties. We wind up downstairs at Dee’s room again the night seems like it is slowing down, but then…

We are doing a little blow. There are these two sisters (paternal, not black) and they are asking where more coke is. We take them back to our hotel. As we are doing the lines – one of the sisters starts dancing around, the other starts grabbing my cock and telling me how horny coke makes her. Next thing I know I am banging one of the sisters on the bed while the other sister is blowing my friend. We get finished, do a few lines and SWITCH SISTERS! While the second one is bobbing my knob, the phone rings in the hotel (it is like 11AM by now) – a cab was here – the sisters put back on their cloths and say, “We gotta get to the airport…our husbands are waiting for us!!”

Indeed, classy ladies.

Then, as quickly as they were here — they were gone. Me and my buddy just sat at the table looking at one another. How do you top that?

That’s was Epic.

Saturday – Wake up at 5PM feeling like smashed assholes. Go to a dinner sponsored by my buddies — shit after the two sisters….why and I even bothering writing any more of this blog?

We coke-closed two fucking sisters! How hot is that?

Long live the Phoenix Forum – see you again next year.