I realized the thumbnail post was a mess, we did a massive overhaul…check it out here:
http://www.jays-xxx-links.com/links/tgp.html

Los Angeles - OCCash has acquired affiliate program Freshchecks.com. Freshchecks has now become an OCCash company. OCCash will assume day to day operations. Current Freshchecks affiliates do not need to sign up again or change you linkcodes. Payments to affiliates will not be interrupted and integration will be seamless.

This post has been moved to the adult webmaster blog Click here to finish reading

Q’on from Onprobation.com after a night of glory in LA sponsored by his favorite affiliate program OCCash.

OK, if any of you webmaster types are looking for hardlink trades or would like to have you site exposed to a lot more trading possibilities — this is the place to do it:

www.jaystrades.com

The new version has been gutted from bottom to top and is super-clean (it’s almost like a combo of Google Adwords and Myspace now). All of your pervious trades still work and all old accounts are still active. It still spiders and removes all cheating / dropped links.

All you really need to do is:

1. Create an account.
2. Add in your trades with keywords.
3. Put the include code at the bottom of pages you would like to trade on (must be able to parse for PHP).
4. Start searching for trades.
5. If someone wants a trade an email will go out to them. The trade must be approved by both parties before it goes live.

Jaystrades.com supports straight recip (A>B) trades and non-linier trades (A>B>C).

I realize the two previous incarnations were not as complete as they could have been and had a few bugs. Login and check out how far this project has come.

I think you will be impressed.

Email me or ICQ me if you have questions:
jay@jqmedia.org – ICQ 62835707

The things we have to thank for Bush not legislating porn out of existance:

Iraq
9/11
Katrina
Gas Prices
The Economy

Belive me, if everything we rolling along smooth he’d have taken a bigger shot at ridding the world of foul spooge-releasing material. Targeting porn, while all of these other problems are running wild would make him look like the nutjob he is.

Even he knows that.

This message has been brought to you by the busty sluts @ Prime Cups!

This guy got a taste of the verbal venom:
http://greenguyandjim.com/board/showthread.php?t=30892

Here’s a little joke I played on my good pal Ramos, when he didn’t log himself out of GFY recently, while using my computer:

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=596140

Haha.

INTRODUCING THE SIMPSON TWINS: We would like to interrupt your regularly scheduled masturbation to introduce two twin sisters that are going to make a giant splash in the jizz bizz. They are the Simpson Sisters – they are hot, they are twins, and they will do anything.

If you are looking for some new twin action you can check it out here or here.

Is the pen mightier than the sword? You decide:

XXXJay vs. Baddog - even though me and baddog are cool now, I did take his ass to the cleaners with this memorable thread:

What does baddog even do?
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=483639

XXXJay vs. Lenny 2 - I don’t even know who this Lenny2 fuck is, apparently he is some kind of Chistian Appologist / pornographer…I have a better word for that — hypocryte! I think lenny2 summed it up best:

“You’ve accused me of being homosexual, fucking sheep, stealing content, said my program was pathetic, and threatened me with physical violence multiple times (specifically a “knuckle sandwich” which will leave me with only “3 teeth”) And I owe you an apology for calling you a dick?”

Answer is “yes”.

xxxjay is a dick - and anyone who listens to him is an idiot
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=481887

xxxjay is still a dick and anyone who listens to him is still an idiot
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=485524

Ok xxxjay, let me get this straight
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=482115

And the spinnoffs:
Who else thinks that Lenny2 owes me an apology…
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=482137

Lenny2 Fucks sheep!
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=481976

XXXJay vs. Hooper - Hooper, a notorious scumware-lord, spyware-installer, and mega-spammer thinks he’s all hoity-toity? We’ll see about that…

Gigacash — I support you 110%, but…
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=571184

A lot of this could be avoided in I just put a breathalyzer by my computer that wouldn’t let me post when drunk, but fuck…I enjoy give losers like Lenny2 and Hooper a good dose of verbal venom from time to time.

Just in case you haven’t noticed…

MY BLOG HAS BEEN HACKED

The last blog we had back up was from 10/28…we are trying to import everything else back in now.

Sorry about the inconvience…more and the crazy story of the hacker will come soon.

You can catch up on all of the GFY drama here and here.

From now until the end of November: The affiliate who sends us the most joins to A Lucky Stranger will get to shoot a scene with the slut of your choice! Picking a girl is compulsory!

Tired of being a downtrodden Webster / keyboard jockey? So, you work in porn? Be a fucking PORN STAR!

Remember:
One moon mission doesn’t make someone a full time an astronaut, but one porn will make you a “porn star” for the rest of your life. OcCash is going to give you that chance!

The affiliate who sends the most joins 10/20/2005 through 11/15/2005 will get to throw salami to the pornstar from www.aluckstarger.com! If the winner is not game, the prize will be passed to 2nd place, and down the line till someone wants to step up and do business.

All expenses will be paid by www.aluckystranger.com. Winners will be announced!

This could be you! (pictured above / bottom)

Good Luck to everyone and please contact chris@occash.com if you are feeling lucky!

Here’s the famous GFY interview that everyone’s been talking about and here are direct links to just the questions.

I know there is going to be some fag webmaster that starts going off about how I am “recruiting surfers for GFY” — I am telling you in advance to EAT A DICK. If you are a porn surfer, want to read a classic interview about the guy who’s brought you some much fodder to punch the clown with for all these years — it is here. The rest of the stuff of there is just bullshit geek webmasters that think they are more important than they are.

I you want real porn gossip on what is happening with the talent — check out Pornogossip.com.

Tata,
Jay

As many of you know from my blog that there are 2 well defined layers of sorryness and depravity:

1. Raising the Odds
2. Going Big

After the JBM Show this weekend, I am happy to announce a third level wanton behavior that has been discovered by one of my contemporaries (sorry, no names). “Raising the Bar” is comfortably nestled in between “going big” and actually dying.

“Raising the Bar” is:

1. Speeding at 90 MPH+ down the Vegas Strip with a 2+ BAC at 5AM.

2. Accidentally cockblocking by sending a girl running screaming from your vehicle and upon returning to ask what happened the only thing you hear is, “Dude, she doesn’t know what snuff film is!”

3. Gently ramming the car of the people you are staying with from behind repeatedly and expecting them not to be mad.

4. Asking some ugly slut in a nasty-ass dive bar if “she wants to go outside and fuck” because you’ve got a killer rental car…

And getting away with it.

“Raising the Bar” is not for weekend warriors and is linked to premature death.

Very nice to see the company I am 33.3% owner in and very proud of — Occash (known for www.brazilbang.com, www.phatwhitebooty.com, and www.kungpaopussy.com) nominated — albeit unexpected. I know there’s been a few naysayers about the XBiz Award for Best New Sponsor Program, but considering our very recent past with XBiz and their little “misprint“– this only goes to show you that these nominations are not rigged.

We talked it out and settled our differences with XBiz without lawyers. We look forward to working with them and moving forward.

It is an honor to be nominated.

The XBiz Awards show will take place on Nov. 17 at the Key Club on the Sunset Strip in Hollywood.

Thanks Xbiz.

Are you tired of roughing up the suspect to some grainy porn on your PC? Are you tired of your girlfriend (or mom) walking in while you are punching the clown in front of plasma? Fear not, once again technology has caught up with porn, or maybe porn has caught up with technology – either way there are some new sites out there that are broadcasting in full HD (high definition) quality and, let me tell you – YOU CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE!

Check out these 3 new sites that are so crisp and clear that you can practically taste the quim coming off of these girls snatches (snatches.com is on of them, ironically) – you can witness the teen glory of my new favorite whack fantasy Brooke Skye, get about the closest you will ever come to being a real gynecologist with Snatches, and might even make some lucky amateur pervert rich with XXX Prize!

I have to admit that I was skeptical at first, but now I know that HD XXX is the way of the future and I am signed on!

While it hasn’t been a My Sex Tour or Euro Sex Parties yet…as I account from the first class cabin of a train bound for Berlin — our stop there will be (rather appropriately) the Berlin Zoo…now I can re-account the haze of the last few days in Amsterdam:

After a rather brutal 10 hour flight in the sardine cabin on KLM, the first day seemed to start off normally enough: a visit to the smoke to stock up on weed, hash, and mushrooms, a quick cat nap, and then off to the first party of Webmaster Access 2005. The decision was made early to eat our bag of mushrooms and break off from the Webmaster Hoy Paloy to go out and experience the real Amsterdam.

Sounds smart enough, right?

We made through the packed lines at one of the higher end disco techs (via greasing the bouncers with a few Euros). Once inside, the mushrooms really started to kick in, we all started decorating on our shoes with a delightful array of vomit before getting back in the cab only to get into an impromptu fist fight in the middle of the street that was stirred on by one of my colleagues that shall remain nameless but for the purposes of this blog shall be henceforth be referred to as “Glass Joe” for his penchant for going down with one punch in a fight he started.

Having become concerned that I had not taken a poop the entire time I was in Europe – upon returning to my hotel room that night, (not being able to read the roper dosage for some laxatives because it was in Dutch) took four tablets rather than recommended dose of one. When it comes to OD’ing hell hath no furry the throes of a heavy laxative overdose. Most of the next day was spent alternately puking and shitting to the point I had purged out my soul, but one must soldier on…

The next night was off to more parties with the up and coming Interclimax Girls, where I popped around three tabs of ecstasy. After a while of hanging out – we got a call from “Glass Joe”, who said that he had a large quantity up in his room and asked if we would come by to to help him with it.

Of course, we obliged.

We sit there hitting the weasel dust pretty hard for the next few hours when the decision was made (not mine) to call up some hookers around 9AM. Now keep in mind, by this point I am on so many drugs and so drunk that a crane and a truckload of Viagra could not get my dick even halfway hard. Nevertheless, 4 hookers come over at the cost of 250 Euro a piece to sit around and watch us do drugs for 2 hours!!!

Now how stupid is that?

The next night was pretty much more of the same – hookers, partying, ect…except this time I actually managed to make it to bed by 7AM only to be interrupted by my cell mate bringing in a quite voluminous, yet quite psychotic, menstruating go-go dancer.

I said “fuck it”, got up, and spent the last day there touring the Van Gough museum, playing a little blackjack, and taking the crew out of a nice night of “romance” in the Red Light District — where again, I didn’t get any hookers. Yes, it is fun to window-shop, but there was more traffic coming in and out of these girl’s booths than the LA freeway at 5 PM. It was obvious these Dutch hotties had seen more dicks than Haynes Underwear in just one night!

Who knows, maybe I’m losing my edge.

I’m off to the Fatherland.

Jay

Just like they say, “Nobody reads Playboy for the articles!” – hopefully, if you are reading this blog (which is a part of it’s parent site Jays XXX Links) you will be happy to know that my staff and I (at a serious cut in advertising revenue) have been busy removing all links which contain pop-ups and exit consoles. We hope that this will create a much better experience for the users and will (hopefully) keep you guys coming back.

Look for Jay’s XXX to be 100% console free within the next 2 weeks.

Ok, this was the night after the big Olsen Twins encounter. I see in the paper that there is this porn party real close to where I live that featured a Ramones cover band fronted my Kurt Lockwood (male porn talent). Me and Chris roll down there early just in case it would be some kind of ridiculous Hollywood mob at the door. We get there around 10PM and get in easily – so, we had some time to kill. We start hitting the Jagermeister hard.

This porn chick (who asks to remain nameless for this piece) walks up, sits at the bar with me for a while, we shoot the shit, and down a bunch more shots. She needed to be onstage while the band was playing, so she goes backstage just before they start. As the stet goes on, I am getting more and more loaded. A half hour later I do shot, puke right at the bar, and get kicked out.

I take a cab back home and somehow wind up at my house with some of the neighbors in the building and doing a bunch of blow. We kick it for a while and then the neighbors leave. Right as they are splitting the porn girl from earlier calls me up and asks if she can come by. I’m say “sure”.

So, ten minutes later she shows up with Steve-O from Jackass. He comes up, they dump out a huge pile of blow, and we start hitting it pretty fucking hard. He was a really cool guy – I don’t think he stopped talking once for like 3 hours – it was obvious that he was pretty jacked. We keep hitting the rails for the next four hours till they eventually leave at around 8:30AM. Hanging out with him was really cool — I am actually a huge Jackass and Wild Boys Fan. It’s cool being able to kick it with someone who’s given you so many laughs.

The next day, I read the “Steve-O Is Dead” on read rumor on GFY:
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=509210

The only thing I can think is “I hope he didn’t just leave my place and OD” (plus it would really suck if Steve-O were dead) – so, I call up the pornstar chick. She says that he got up at 5PM the next day and was fine, but he was about to go out with some ESPN guys and then was really going to GO BIG.

As far as I know on the “Steve-O” death rumor — I think Mahoney may have mixed up Steve-O from the Vandals (who did die on Saturday) with Steve-O from Jackass – though I would see how Steve was living and it wouldn’t surprise me either way.

Viva Hollywood.

I know it’s been a while since I’ve busted some original vile verbal vomit. You will have to excuse me; I’ve been very busy clouding my peanut sized brain chock-full-‘o copious Godzilla-sized doses of drugs and liquor. My busy Hollywood party schedule may have slowed my writing some, but I have assimilated some great partying tips that may spice up the doldrums of your summer’s dog daze.

For a bender you need a crew. Most of your working friends know better than to hang out with you because they’ve been waking up the last eight Wednesdays morning’s in a row with the “worst hangover ever” and are not about to do it again. It is helpful to create some helpful euphemisms based abound the “let’s go out for one drink” lie to trick them again.

When I write “Jays Big Book of Lies” these will be the three biggest lies of all time:

1. “The check is in the mail.”
2. “No, I won’t cum in your mouth.”
3. “Let’s go out for a (singular) drink.

People are immune to all 3 by now. That is why I find it helpful to suggest “a light evening of {insert activity here”}. For {insert activity here} you need to make sure that it’s the one thing your friend is least able to turn down, but suggest it not be done in excess. For example:

“Let’s go out for a light evening of {whoring}.”

It works every time; just a little food and drink — nothing to fancy, but once you’ve you step outside that door — you must begin:

RAISING THE ODDS: When “raising the odds” you take the vice you picked and pump it up a notch. Not enough sluts around? Raise the odds. Only mildly drunk? Raise the odds. On drugs yet? Raise the fuckin’ odds! At first you accomplice will resist your attempt to “raise the odds”, but, as an experienced “odds raiser” themselves, will know that resistance if futile and nothing but a ruse. I myself am an admitted odds raiser — you only live once, so raise the states — but then you are faced with another big decision: Weather or not to GO BIG?

GOING BIG: Nothing good ever happens when you “go big”, however it can be a lot of fun. Usually it is best to plan to “go big” in advance — have prearranged bail money, the next day free extend the bender, keep 400 Advil on hand the impending hangover, and a lawyer or two can be handy — often you might “raise the odds” too much and accidentally “go big”! If you want to have fun, sometimes, you’ve got to pay. It is helpful to have some “big boy” apparel (aviator glasses, fur coats, etc) to signify to those known to you that you are “going big” and they can distance themselves accordingly. A large group will often impede the progress of “going big”, so it is helpful to have an “ASPARAGUS PLAN”.

OPERATION ASPARGUS: During an “Asparagus Operation” you and your coolest friend ditch whatever large group of lame guys you are currently with to up the chances of “raising the odds” and maybe even “go big”. When one of you says the word “asparagus” the pair will quietly break off from the pack unnoticed; hopefully move on and raise some real hell — as will be identified by the color coded threat level of ones gums:

THE THREAT LEVEL OF YOUR GUMS: Often time the process of “going big” can be a treacherous one; it is helpful to remind your peers of just what level you are on by giving periodic updates on the exact status of your gums:

“My gums are a fine shade of cobalt blue.” = Early stages of beer intoxication (6-8 beers) perhaps mixed in with some marijuana.

“My gums are a deep hue of alabaster.” = Liquor intake accelerating — Jagermeister has definitely kicked in at this point. It won’t be long until…

“My gums are indeed a fine shade of chartreuse.” = Over fifteen beers, perhaps some martinis, definite Jagermeister intake, cocaine has now entered the equation.

“My gums are an epervecant shade bright stunning magenta.” = A rare and glorious time. Psychedelics are at play here. Gums do not turn bright magenta until at least the twelfth hour of a good stretch. Indeed, ones brain may be an “epervecant shade bright stunning magenta” to boot.

Regardless of the threat level of your gums, weather you’re raising the odds or if want to go big — remember this as you are hurtling into
mid-asparagus: Everything that I have mentioned leads one
direction: DOWN.

Indeed, the situation will continue to deteriorate untill you will find yourself where I’ve found myself on numerous occasions throughout this
summer:

FUCKED UP AS JESSE JACKSON’S CHECK BOOK!

Peace out,
Jay

That’s all I had to say. Click Here to watch Raven Riley fuck!